Online Dating Crime: Searchmate’s Reaction

Online Dating Crime: Searchmate’s Reaction

Online Dating Crime: The Figures

There has been a dramatic rise in online dating crime.

Last week, Sky News reported that 2,054 offences were recorded between 2011 and 2016.

Back in 2011, 140 crimes were recorded.  By 2016 this figure had risen to 676.  Therefore, the UK has seen 382% increase in online dating crime. During the same period, the number of reported sexual crimes rose from 14 to 106. Violent attacks increased from 29 to 240.

Due to the secrecy often involved within the online dating world, a large number of crimes remain unreported. As a result, actual figures are far higher.

Former Tinder user, Louise, aged 35, told us “I rarely confided in anyone when I met a Tinder date for the first time. I had no idea who I was meeting or how safe the situation would be. People can pretend to be whoever they want to be on an app, can’t they?”

The Dating Safely Campaign

This careless attitude towards personal safety provided the motivation for the Dating Agency Association’s national Dating Safely Campaign.  A free downloadable guide is available to everyone via the Dating Agency Association website.  The information within this guide enables single men and women to enjoy meeting new people whilst making their own personal safety a priority.   As children we were all taught the dangers of trusting a stranger.  Now that we’re adults, it’s important we don’t take the attitude that suddenly these dangers no longer exist. Men and women are at equal risk when it comes to online dating crime.  The Dating Agency Association insists upon high standards of safeguarding within its member agencies.  It also reminds people that ultimately, it’s your own decision-making that will keep you safe.

As a member of the Dating Agency Agency Association, Searchmate is proud of its safeguarding policies.  Managing Director, Mike Parker, explains – “We use state of the art verification systems and interview every potential client before approving a membership.  I’m proud to say that the service Searchmate offers is a million miles from online dating.”

Please download a copy of the Dating Safely Guidelines at :

http://www.datingagencyassociation.org.uk/dating-safely-campaign/

For more information about how you can date in confidence with Searchmate, call senior membership adviser, Julie, on 0800 644 4160

9am – 9pm Every Day

The Top Five Things Single Men Want From A Relationship

The Top Five Things Single Men Want From A Relationship

For both single men and women, understanding what makes the opposite sex tick can seem like an impossible mission. Just when we think we’ve got a new partner all worked out, we do something that seems to throw them off balance. Suddenly, we’re alone on a Saturday night again.  We’re logging onto a dating site. Trawling through hundreds of depressing strangers. It’s like sifting for gold without a panning sieve.

At Searchmate, our personal matchmakers become the panning sieve for our clients. It’s essential that we understand exactly what each client is looking for.  As a result, we are uniquely placed to understand what single men and women want.

So What Do Single Men Want From A Relationship??

  1. Ease: When a man takes a woman on a first date, he wants to feel the uncomplicated anticipation of his adolescence.  He wants to experience the excitement.  The not-knowing-what-might-happen.  The thrill of having a woman he finds attractive sitting opposite him.  A sure way to kill this vibe is for a woman to start talking about an ex.  A bitter break up.  The terrible internet date she went on last week.  Save the trash talking for a girls night.  If your date is worth your time, he’ll want to feel that he’s making you feel special.  And that you are open to exploring something new with a fresh and relaxed attitude.
  2. Connection: Women always underestimate how important a genuine connection is to a guy.  It’s easy to dismiss men as shallow.  The truth is very different.  When a single guy talks about the kind of woman he is looking for in terms of a committed relationship, he’s looking for someone engaging, bright and funny.  He wants to find a best friend and a lover.  Just like you do. If you want a first date to turn into a second, third, fourth…be yourself.
  3. Trust: When a single guy pictures himself in a long-term relationship, it’s the loss of freedom that can cause anxiety.  Not freedom to sleep with other women.  Or freedom to stay out until the early hours in dodgy bars.  It’s the freedom to retain friendships, hobbies, family ties, career goals.  The great thing is, most women want that kind of freedom too.  So it’s a win-win for couples who allow each other to breath.
  4. Attraction: Let’s be honest.  Women like a man to take care of himself.  They want to feel attracted to a date.  No-one wants a guy who turns up for a date looking as though he doesn’t care about himself, let alone anyone else.  It’s exactly the same for men.  Yes, beauty is only skin deep, but the easy glow of someone who has taken time to feel good themselves radiates a feel good factor.  It’s not superficial for a man to want to fancy a partner like crazy.  Women want that too.
  5. Understanding: The fundamental quality that all men are looking for in a woman is understanding.  We all want to be blessed with a partner who ‘gets’ us.  Relationships work best when two people put real effort into understanding and enriching each other’s lives.  They modify behaviours that need to change – without needing to be told – simply because they understand what the other needs.  This doesn’t happen overnight.  It’s a process that takes time and patience.  Hang in there: acceptance is the most valuable gift human beings can exchange.

For more information about Searchmate’s personal matchmaking service, please call Senior Membership Adviser, Julie, on 0800 644 4160 9am – 9pm Every Day

Five Ways To Attract Your Perfect Partner This Summer

Five Ways To Attract Your Perfect Partner This Summer

As the days get longer and the sun becomes brighter, it’s hard not to yearn for someone special.  They say ‘every summer has a story’… here are five ways to attract YOUR perfect partner this summer:

  1. Let go of your preconceptions around ‘perfect’.  It’s not about meeting someone who is perfect on paper, it’s about meeting someone who feels perfect FOR YOU.  Chances are, you won’t fully understand what you are looking for in another person until you find it.  By dismissing possible new partners on the basis of preconceived ideas, you risk missing out on real and genuine love.  This summer, relax and ‘go with the flow’.
  2. Get a life.  Don’t sit at home on online dating sites or apps, start LIVING instead.  Arrange to meet friends, family, attend gigs, walk, paint, run, read.  Do whatever keeps you feeling stimulated and energised.  Ensure that when new people meet you, they are struck by that irresistible glow radiated by people who create a feel-good existence for themselves.
  3. Take care of yourself.  Yes, this may sound shallow, but think about it…what kind of people are you attracted to?  Chances are you’re looking for someone who exudes health and happiness.  You’re also likely to feel flattered if a first date makes an effort to look good.  Remember, it works both ways.
  4. Work on inner peace.  The more content and balanced you feel inside, the easier you will find it to attract love. Building resistance, or wanting something too desperately, often sabotages success.  Additionally, one of the nicest qualities a human being can display is the ability to let others be themselves.  Those who are at peace within, rarely feel the need to change or manipulate others.
  5. Know that you are already ‘whole’.  A partner will compliment the very best bits of you but will not ‘complete you’.  Understanding this fundamental truth will lessen the temptation to hold onto something that’s not right. Every relationship can teach us a lesson, but few are meant to last.  By freeing yourself from attachment to less than perfect bonds, you allow yourself the space to meet that incredible person who is perfect just for you.

If you would like Searchmate to help you find love this summer, call our senior membership adviser, Julie, for an informal chat on  0800 644 4160 9am – 9pm, everyday.

Love Bombing: How Online Predators Are Faking Love

Love Bombing: How Online Predators Are Faking Love

For many single people, online dating appears to offer a way to escape loneliness and social isolation.  Sadly, the internet has also become a hunting ground for those wanting to prey on the weaknesses of others.  At Searchmate, we’ve been finding out more about the phenomenon of ‘love-bombing’ and how online predators are faking love.

For thirty-four-year-old Poppy, internet dating appeared to offer a pro-active approach to meeting new people. Having been treated badly by a guy she’d ‘met by accident’, Poppy decided to approach finding love with a more determined approach.  As a medical professional working anti-social hours, she felt the internet offered a way to meet a large volume of people, recreating her highly social school and university days.

In many ways, Poppy enjoyed the confidence boost of having so many guys express an interest in her online profile. However, she soon found a disparity between what she was hoping to find online, and what was on offer: “I want someone who is my best friend; someone who makes me laugh; someone I’m thrilled to be with.  I want ‘easy and comfortable’ more than anything else.  The men I’ve met online want fireworks and something indefinable that they never seem to be able to explain.”

Poppy found that few internet-daters were looking for serious commitment – “I find it interesting as to why men will go to all the effort of chasing a woman on line, and meeting up, but continually refuse to commit to a relationship.  I haven’t yet met a guy on line who is willing to turn a fun situation into something permanent.’

The only man who appeared to be interested in pursuing a relationship left Poppy feeling more isolated than ever before.  When Steve, an IT specialist in his 30s, began contacting her online, Poppy was already starting to lose faith in ever finding love.  However, Steve seemed determined to win her over.  When she went away on holiday, he was in constant contact…and when she returned he was waiting at the airport to drive her home.  Steve’s grand gestures and frequent communication began to make Poppy feel special…and safe enough to begin to make shared plans.

Having finally won her trust by bombarding her with attention, Steve surprised Poppy by starting to complain about a lack of money and the pressure of his debts.  Poppy now believes that Steve used a ‘love-bombing’ technique in order to gain control of a single, affluent woman.  However, when it became clear that she wasn’t going to hand over cash, things changed quickly.  After spending what Poppy describes as ‘a perfect time together’ during a four day mini-break, Steve vanished from Poppy’s life.  She was devastated – “The whole situation made me feel stupid and insignificant.  I felt lost without him: he’d infiltrated my whole life.”

Poppy has reached the conclusion that Steve was “the loneliest person I’ve ever met in my life: I never once heard him speak about family or friends with any real feeling.”

Poppy is now moving on with her life and sees working with a Personal Matchmaker as a refreshing, new option that she’d love to try.  Like many women in their thirties and forties, Poppy feels she no longer has time to waste on internet predators who are faking love – “I know my age puts men off because they realise I’m probably ready for marriage and a family…and I am!  I want to find love, and I can’t wait to have children.”

If you’d like to share an informal chat with Julie, our membership adviser, about finding a genuine, loving relationship, please call on 0800 644 4160.

9am – 9pm Every Day

The Great British Date: UK Singles Willing To Spend More On Romance Than Most Europeans

The Great British Date: UK Singles Willing To Spend More On Romance Than Most Europeans

Forget everything you’ve heard about the great romantic trysts of our French and Italian neighbours; the truth is, UK singles are willing to spend more on romance than most Europeans.   While a French couple spends an average of £46.00 on an evening of love and merriment, and an Italian couple stretches to an average of £47.00, Brits are happy to spend an average of £129.00.  According to new research compiled by the Centre for Economics & Business Research British singles spend more than double the amount their European counterparts would expect to part with in the name of love.

With singles taking an ever more proactive approach to finding a mate, gone are the days when people would sit at home hoping a new partner might miraculously appear.  Safe and exclusive dating agencies like Searchmate offer UK daters an exciting, new way to meet people and enjoy a fantastic social life.  As a result, dating contributes £5.89bn to the UK economy every year, and that figure is set to grow.

Within the food, drink and entertainment sector, the total date-related national spend in the UK last year was £2,800,000,000.  Add to that an increase of £153 million over the last year in expenditure on eating-in during a date and you start to get the picture in terms of how seriously British singles have begun to take good old-fashioned courtship.

As recently as five years ago, many couples were still stumbling into relationships, bypassing the sweet and butter-fly inducing first dates that are now enjoying such a renaissance.  Due to popular TV shows such as Channel 4’s First Dates people are realising the value of investing time and money in meeting a potential, new partner.

At Searchmate, our Personal Matchmakers love to hear the excitement in a client’s voice when a date has gone so well it almost feels like a fairy-tale.  Our values are now being shared across the nation: genuine people, who are looking for authentic, loving relationships, are taking the time to get to know each other.  We pride ourselves in being a traditional agency with a contemporary feel; very much in keeping with these exciting new attitudes to dating.

So whilst the CEBR’s figures are great news for the economy, they’re also great news for the quality of the relationships single people in the UK are ready to share.

If you would like to learn more about finding love with Searchmate, please call us for an informal chat on :

0333 253 2540

Lines open 9am – 9pm Every Day

No Valentine’s Card This Year?

No Valentine’s Card This Year?

No Valentine’s Card This Year?

No Valentine’s card this year? It certainly is disappointing if that hoped for card or gift didn’t materialise, especially if you started the year so positively believing that 2017 was going to be THE year for you in terms of love and meeting that special person. St Valentine’s Day is very much a barometer, 6 weeks into the new year, when you can check out those aspirations you have for love and romance coming into your life and assess how you are doing so far.

If you aren’t happy with the progress you are making to date, then perhaps you will feel it is the right time to become more proactive. Most of the 16 million singles in the UK are now quite comfortable about using a professional, third party company to find love and Searchmate is one of the most popular.

We have been around since 1998 and are one of the established Personal Matchmaking services in the country, we also truly cover the country, which is unusual in Personal Matchmaking. Searchmate caters for attractive, professional people from all walks of life, so a Personal Introductions or Dating Agency for nice people from the right sort of background, in other words one of the best and most successful dating brands in the UK.

We have one of the largest data bases in the country, almost all of whom are professionals or aspiring professionals, who have been personally interviewed, ID checked and vetted – to absolutely ensure that they are who they say they are. We also support the dating safety guidelines advocated by the Dating Agency Association.

Is that for you?   Well we’d love to put you in an informed position so that you could decide yourself. If you’d like to know about Searchmate and how we work, then why not call Julie, our Senior Membership Adviser/Dating Expert,  at our expense on 0800 644 4160 or complete out contact form by clicking here and we’ll call you back, usually within 24 working hours

We hope to hear from you soon.